"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
thus making me awesome and them whores
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
