I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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