Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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