i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Randomize
