its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I am mentally ready for anal.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
