he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
