New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
