I'm lost and stupid without you.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
