I just pynch a tree in the face
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
