I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
