there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
