so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
