we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
