I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
