I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I've blown a few things in my day
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
