All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
