TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
