The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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