I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
