I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
