I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
They took my balls.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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