everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
