turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
