great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
