We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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