You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
