well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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