On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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