T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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