oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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