Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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