People with herpes should wear stickers.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
