You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
