and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
