Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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