Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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