well you can't waste a boner
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
