think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
