im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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