I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
