i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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