Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
