A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
