How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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