I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Randomize
