Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
