I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize