that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
