did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize