The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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