Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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