Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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