THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
