i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
