I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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