matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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