can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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