I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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