Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Enjoy the penises
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
