some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
