Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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